Emptiness

Welcome world! Where have I been? :D

Now, I am officially comeback to my blog. Poor my baby, I was busy in rushy with my college life and engaged with laziness to write something. I really want to take my writing habit back, could I?

#nowplaying Boyce Avenue - Keep Bleeding

Actually, there is no correlation between the song and this post. Listening to the acoustic makes me feel calm and warm... or maybe it is just because I feel empty.. here. *pointing at my heart*

I think that I am missing my evening hours with my family, and it feels like in a long rope I couldn't hang on. I miss bapak, mamah, and all the thing that I could get in home. It feels like Bandung is no longer homey.. when I really pretend that it is my only one town in the earth. Trying to deal with living separately with parents makes me suffering. If it is the way I should grow up, I am lonely without them. They are there, but I am the only one who makes this difficult to be dealt. I usually use the cliche reason about the activities outside college hours.

My parents have never avoided me to do what I want. But now I realize.. after I through these years in college, I know that being with them is priceless. When I meet bapak, it feels like I want to hug him for the whole day.. or forever. Even though I usually had a rough moment when we had to argue each other, but I know that he loves me. He trusts the way I'm far from him, he believes that I won't make him regret. He believe that I will always make him proud. And I cry.

When I'm doing my assignments in my boarding room, I really miss the way mamah looking after me. She usually made me something to eat while I was studying. She knows that I couldn't concentrate in studying when there is a noisy thing. Everybody in my house always respected. And now, I live alone and lonely. I couldn't be disturbed but this emptiness.

There's a hole in my days, and I unconsciously have dug it by time separated with them.

I have never taken breakfast anymore since I've been in college, for almost three years. It's not because I don't want it, but it's because of bustling with course lateness time. When I was in school, everyday mamah would cook in the morning so I could take my breakfast. Even though I had been in senior high, she always prepared it for me. She didn't want me passed the breakfast. And I really miss that moment.

Mamah, Bapak. Pia is missing you so much.

:'(